Last Day

20 Nov

Student #1:  Miss!  Today is your last day.  Boo…

Me:  Yes, it is.  I’m sad, too!

Student #1:  I’m going to tie you up in a closet.

Me:  Well, that’s creepy, but sweet.

Student #2:  On special occasions, we’ll feed you cake!  And on special special occasions, like your birthday, we’ll make you tacos.

 

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Visions

20 Nov

Student:  Is that popcorn?

Me:  No, it’s pasta.

Student:  Are those cherries?

Me:  No, those are tomatoes.

Student:  Huh.

Me:  Do you need glasses?

Student:  Seeing is overrated.

Enchilada?

15 Nov

Student:  My step-mom’s full white, but damn she makes good Mexican food!

Rip Off

14 Nov

Student:  Hey, Miss!  My brother works at Bill Miller’s.  I can hook you up.  But did you know they charge fifty cents for ranch there?  That’s how they make their money!  Damn!

Probably Not a Good Idea

13 Nov

Upon witnessing me deal with an unruly bunch of students…

Student:  Man, kids are bad!  They should let librarians carry firearms.

Apparently Reading Isn’t Sexy

12 Nov

Male student:  Hey, Miss?  You know that girl, [Student’s Name]?

Me:  Yes, I do.

Male student:  Well, I’ve been talking to her…

Me:  Oh, yeah?  Well, she’s very sweet and pretty.

Male student:  Yes, she is very pretty, and I wanted to have a crush on her.  But, Miss!  She’s not all there!

Me:  Really?  What do you mean?

Male student:  She won’t go out with me because I love to read!

Me:  Well, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!

Male student:  Right?  Well, that was the end of that.  I’ll always pick books over a girl!

Extra Fees Apply

8 Nov

Student:  I need a new ID.

Me:  Do you have $5?

Student:  No…can I put it on layaway?