Archive | May, 2013

Bragging Rights

31 May

[Conversation with a very witty and intelligent senior guy.]

Student:  Hey Miss, how many books would you say you’ve read?

Me:  Ever?

Student:  Yes, ever.

Me:  Oh goodness…I have no idea.

Student:  You could estimate…but I think I’ve probably read more books than you have.

Me:  Oh, yeah?

Student:  Yep.  I’ve read Green Eggs and Ham; I’ve read Little Red Riding Hood; I’ve read The Three Little Pigs.  Actually, I’ve read Three Little Pigs about eight times.  I bet you haven’t read it eight times.

Me:  Probably not.

Second Student to First Student:  You’ve read all ten pages of Three Little Pigs eight whole times?  Not really something to brag about, dude.

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Vain

30 May

Male student: Miss, do these pants make my butt look big?

Me: Um…

Female student: Are you talking about your butt again?!

Snap Crackle Pop

29 May

Student:  When is the last day we can check out books?

Me:  You can’t check out books anymore.  Everything is due today.

Student:  Ohhhhh noooo…are you serial?

Me:  Um…yeah, I’m totally cereal.  Though I can’t decide whether I’m Frosted Flakes or Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios.  Or maybe I should choose something more sensible like Kashi Toasted Berry Crumble.

Student:  Miss, you are so weird.

Good Point

28 May

Me:  Do you want to sign onto a computer to work on your project?

Student:  No.

Me:  Why not?

Student:  I’m going to have to repeat 9th grade anyway.  So why should I bother doing any work now?

Reconsideration

24 May

Student:  Miss, I had to write an essay on the Cold War.  It had to be five paragraphs long.  Can you believe it?!

Me:  I can believe it!  You know, once you get to college, your papers will need to be much longer.  Usually at least five pages.

Student:  Five pages?!  Oh no…

Me:  And often longer than that.  My senior paper ended up being forty pages long.

Student:  Forty?  As in four-dash-zero?

Me:  Yep!

Student:  [Sighing loudly] It’s time to rethink my post high school plans.

Indecisive

23 May

Student:  I want to read a book like The Hunger Games.

Me: Okay!  [Lists several options]

Student: No. I want to read a book like Garfield.

Me: So you don’t want a book like The Hunger Games?

Student.  No.

Me: Okay…  [Lists several options.]

Student: No.  I want a book that has dogs with magical powers.

Me: So you don’t want a book like Garfield?

Student: No.

Me:….

Perhaps He Should Try Fiction

22 May

Student:  Miss, that recipe book put me to sleep.  It was so boring.