Archive | September, 2013

Called Out

30 Sep

Student: Miss, would you like to buy some cookie dough?

Me: No, thank you!

Student: Aw, man! Please! I need to raise money.

Me:  I’m sorry- I am really trying to save money.

Student: Well, you may not realize that this cookie dough is a bargain!

Me: How so? $16 seems like a lot for cookie dough.

Student:  It is all about cost per cookie. Trust me- this is a steal.

Me:  No, I really don’t think I am going to buy any. I am sorry.

Student:  [Sighs.]

Me:  It’s not just the cost; I’m also try to eat pretty healthy.

Student:  [Laughs.]  Miss, you can’t fool me. I see you eating candy and cookies and junk every time I’m in here.

Me: …

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Making Me Feel Old

27 Sep

Yesterday was Throwback Thursday as part of Spirit Week.  Students dressed up in clothes from different eras.  We had (in the students’ own words)…

“I’m a cowboy from the Revolution!”

“I’m totally 80s.  It’s all about neon pink.”

“I borrowed my mom’s clothes, and she’s from, like, the 80s.”

“I’m wearing a skirt, b/c back in the olden days, girls could only wear skirts.”

“In the 80s, people wore a lot of glitter, so that’s why I’m wearing a lot of glitter.”

“I’m dressed as my grandma, because my grandma is old and lived in the past.” (male student)

“I’m wearing a Michael Jackson t-shirt, because he died, like, 10 years ago or something.”

Wish I’d Thought of That Back in High School

26 Sep

Student:  Hey!  Your splint is off!

Me:  Yes, it is!

Student:  What did you do with it?

Me:  My splint?

Student:  Yes.

Me:  It’s at home.

Student:  Oh.  How much do you want for it?

Me:  Haha, what?  Why would you want it?

Student:  I wanted to wear it, so I could get out of PE.

Compliment?

25 Sep

Student:  You’re pretty.

Me:  Oh, um, thank you.

Student:  I saw a coach today who I also think is pretty.

Me:  Okay.

Student:  I didn’t think coaches or librarians could be pretty.

Me:  Why’s that?

Student:  Well, because librarians are usually old and coaches usually look like they just rolled out of bed.

I Can’t Even Think of A Clever Title for this Exchange

24 Sep
Student #1 walks in wearing a Beatles t-shirt.
Student #2 says to Student #1, “Hey, what’s your favorite song?”
Student #1 replies, “What? Oh, I don’t know…I like that new Katy Perry song, ‘Roar’…”
Student #2 sighs, gestures toward Student #1’s shirt, and explains, “No…what is your favorite Beatles’ song?”
Student #1 shrugs and responds, “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t really listen to the Beatles. My dad gave me this shirt.”
Clearly exasperated, Student #2 shakes her head and sighs, “Christians…”

Secret Society

23 Sep

Student:  I don’t think there’s that much to being a librarian.

Me:  That’s a pretty big diss.  There’s actually a lot to being a librarian.  I do a lot you guys don’t see—order books, get rid of old books, go to meetings—

Student:  You go to meetings?

Me:  Yes.

Student:  With other librarians?

Me:  Yes, some of my meetings are with other librarians.

Student:  So, you’re, like, the member of a librarian squad?

Me:  Well, I guess you could say that…

Student:  Is there an initiation for this librarian squad?

Me:  Haha, no…

Student:  I bet there is.  I bet you have to, like, memorize books and do challenges where you see who can lift the heaviest books and dress up like authors and quote Shakespeare and make things out of bookmarks.

Maturity Is (Apparently) Overrated

20 Sep

Student quickly walks in with his head down, avoiding my eyes.

Me:  Do you have a pass?

Student: [sighs] Miss, it is impossible to get a pass from the cafeteria!

Me:  Then how come these other students were able to get passes?

Student:  It was too loud in the cafeteria.  I couldn’t focus on chewing.  I had to get out of there quickly!

Me:  Sorry!  You know the rules.  You can’t be in here without a pass.  Go back and get one if you want to spend the rest of the period in the library.

Student: [stamps his foot] Ugh!  Miss!

Me:  Okay, time to go!  This is a tantrum free zone.

Student:  [Very deliberately rolls his eyes, sticks his tongue out at me, and slams the door on his way out.]

Best part?  He’s a senior.