I’m talking to a teacher when I see one of my seniors frantically waving at me. I motion to him that I’ll be over in just a minute and turn back to my colleague. Not five seconds later, he begins to wave both arms at me with a heightened level of frenzy. Now worried, I tell the teacher with whom I am speaking that I will be right back. I quickly approach him.
Me: [Student’s name], are you okay? What’s wrong??
Student: No, I am not okay. What in the hell is a GPA?
Student: Hey, Miss–I need directions.
Me: Directions? Directions to what?
Student: Directions to your heart.
Totally unprompted and random comment to me:
Student: If you shoot an alligator in the face, you can make shoes, pants, or a hooded jacket out of it. And the jacket would be bulletproof.
Overheard…
Student #1: Ugh, that is such a hyper-bowl.
Student #2: A what?
Student #1: A hyper-bowl. You know, an exaggeration. It’s in my SAT prep book.
Student #2: [Suppressing a laugh] I think it’s pronounced hy-per-boll-ee.
Student #1: No, I don’t think so. There isn’t a “y” on the end of it.
Student: Hey, Miss! I finished War and Peace!
Me: Really? Because you just checked it out yesterday…
Student: I had a lot of free time last night.
Student: Do you have a device that I could use to make my pencil sharper?
Me:…like that pencil sharpener over there?
Student: Hmmm…yeah, that’ll work.
Student: Miss, can I make a call?
Me: You know you can’t use your cell phone at school.
Student: But it’s really important.
Me: Who do you need to call?
Student: The court. There’s a warrant for my arrest, and I need to clear that up.
Student: Miss! Last night was CRAZY!
Me: Oh yeah? Why?
Student: I went to a fancy rich people party!
Me: Oh, okay. How was it?
Student: IT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
Student: How long do we get books for? Like the entire year?
Me: Three weeks.
Student: THREE WEEKS?! That’s it?! What happens after that?
Me: You start accruing library fines.
Student: They start fining me? How do they know?
Me: By “they”, you realize you mean me.
Student: You?
Me: Yes, I’m the librarian.
Student: Whoa…you can do that? Fine me?
Me: Yep.
Student: You have a lot of power.
Student: Hey miss! Check out my pimple!
Me: Um, okay…Ow!
Later the student with the pimple answers a question wrong…
Student: Oh, I’m sorry, miss! It was my pimple talking.
Stacks of Wisdom 
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