Archive | April, 2013

Should Probably Have Asked (3 Years) Sooner

30 Apr

I’m talking to a teacher when I see one of my seniors frantically waving at me. I motion to him that I’ll be over in just a minute and turn back to my colleague. Not five seconds later, he begins to wave both arms at me with a heightened level of frenzy. Now worried, I tell the teacher with whom I am speaking that I will be right back. I quickly approach him.

Me: [Student’s name], are you okay? What’s wrong??

Student: No, I am not okay. What in the hell is a GPA?


Not Even a GPS Will Get Him There

30 Apr

Student: Hey, Miss–I need directions.

Me: Directions? Directions to what?

Student: Directions to your heart.

Should Probably Apply for Project Runway

29 Apr

Totally unprompted and random comment to me:

Student:  If you shoot an alligator in the face, you can make shoes, pants, or a hooded jacket out of it.  And the jacket would be bulletproof.

Pronunciation is Key

26 Apr


Student #1:  Ugh, that is such a hyper-bowl.

Student #2:  A what?

Student #1:  A hyper-bowl.  You know, an exaggeration.  It’s in my SAT prep book.

Student #2:  [Suppressing a laugh]  I think it’s pronounced hy-per-boll-ee.

Student #1:  No, I don’t think so.  There isn’t a “y” on the end of it.

Speed Reader

26 Apr

Student:  Hey, Miss!  I finished War and Peace!

Me:  Really?  Because you just checked it out yesterday…

Student:  I had a lot of free time last night.

In Lieu of Whittling

25 Apr

Student:  Do you have a device that I could use to make my pencil sharper?

Me:…like that pencil sharpener over there?

Student:  Hmmm…yeah, that’ll work.


25 Apr

Student:  Miss, can I make a call?

Me:  You know you can’t use your cell phone at school.

Student:  But it’s really important.

Me:  Who do you need to call?

Student:  The court.  There’s a warrant for my arrest, and I need to clear that up.